“Everyday)Use”)
by#Alice#Walker#
!
I!will!wait!for!her!in!the!yard!that!Maggie!and!I!made!so!clean!and!wavy!yesterday!afternoon.!A!yard!like!this!
is!more!comfortable!than!most!people!know.!It!is!not!just!a!yard.!It!is!like!an!extended!living!room.!When!the!
hard!clay!is!swept!clean!as!a!floor!and!the!fine!sand!around!the!edges!lined!with!tiny,!irregular!grooves,!
anyone!can!come!and!sit!and!look!up!into!the!elm!tree!and!wait!for!the!breezes!that!never!come!inside!the!
house.!
Maggie!will!be!nervous!until!after!her!sister!goes:!she!will!stand!hopelessly!in!corners,!homely!and!ashamed!
of!the!burn!scars!down!her!arms!and!legs,!eying!her!sister!with!a!mixture!of!envy!and!awe.!She!thinks!her!
sister!has!held!life!always!in!the!palm!of!one!hand,!that!"no"!is!a!word!the!world!never!learned!to!say!to!her.!
You've!no!doubt!seen!those!TV!shows!where!the!child!who!has!"made!it"!is!confronted,!as!a!surprise,!by!her!
own!mother!and!father,!tottering!in!weakly!from!backstage.!(A!pleasant!surprise,!of!course:!What!would!they!
do!if!parent!and!child!came!on!the!show!only!to!curse!out!and!insult!each!other?)!On!TV!mother!and!child!
embrace!and!smile!into!each!other's!faces.!Sometimes!the!mother!and!father!weep,!the!child!wraps!them!in!
her!arms!and!leans!across!the!table!to!tell!how!she!would!not!have!made!it!without!their!help.!I!have!seen!
these!programs.!
Sometimes!I!dream!a!dream!in!which!Dee!and!I!are!suddenly!brought!together!on!a!TV!program!of!this!sort.!
Out!of!a!dark!and!soft.seated!limousine!I!am!ushered!into!a!bright!room!filled!with!many!people.!There!I!
meet!a!smiling,!gray,!sporty!man!like!Johnny!Carson!who!shakes!my!hand!and!tells!me!what!a!fine!girl!I!have.!
Then!we!are!on!the!stage!and!Dee!is!embracing!me!with!tears!in!her!eyes.!She!pins!on!my!dress!a!large!
orchid,!even!though!she!has!told!me!once!that!she!thinks!orchids!are!tacky!flowers.!!
In!real!life!I!am!a!large,!big.boned!woman!with!rough,!man.working!hands.!In!the!winter!I!wear!flannel!
nightgowns!to!bed!and!overalls!dur.ing!the!day.!I!can!kill!and!clean!a!hog!as!mercilessly!as!a!man.!My!fat!
keeps!me!hot!in!zero!weather.!I!can!work!outside!all!day,!breaking!ice!to!get!water!for!washing;!I!can!eat!
pork!liver!cooked!over!the!open!fire!minutes!after!it!comes!steaming!from!the!hog.!One!winter!I!knocked!a!
bull!calf!straight!in!the!brain!between!the!eyes!with!a!sledge!hammer!and!had!the!meat!hung!up!to!chill!
before!nightfall.!But!of!course!all!this!does!not!show!on!television.!I!am!the!way!my!daughter!would!want!me!
to!be:!a!hundred!pounds!lighter,!my!skin!like!an!uncooked!barley!pancake.!My!hair!glistens!in!the!hot!bright!
lights.!Johnny!Carson!has!much!to!do!to!keep!up!with!my!quick!and!witty!tongue.!
But!that!is!a!mistake.!I!know!even!before!I!wake!up.!Who!ever!knew!a!Johnson!with!a!quick!tongue?!Who!can!
even!imagine!me!looking!a!strange!white!man!in!the!eye?!It!seems!to!me!I!have!talked!to!them!always!with!
one!foot!raised!in!flight,!with!my!head!fumed!in!whichever!way!is!farthest!from!them.!Dee,!though.!She!would!
always!look!anyone!in!the!eye.!Hesitation!was!no!part!of!her!nature.!
"How!do!I!look,!Mama?"!Maggie!says,!showing!just!enough!of!her!thin!body!enveloped!in!pink!skirt!and!red!
blouse!for!me!to!know!she's!there,!almost!hidden!by!the!door.!
"Come!out!into!the!yard,"!I!say.!
Have!you!ever!seen!a!lame!animal,!perhaps!a!dog!run!over!by!some!careless!person!rich!enough!to!own!a!car,!
sidle!up!to!someone!who!is!ignorant!enough!to!be!kind!to!him?!That!is!the!way!my!Maggie!walks.!She!has!
been!like!this,!chin!on!chest,!eyes!on!ground,!feet!in!shuffle,!ever!since!the!fire!that!burned!the!other!house!to!
the!ground.!
, Dee!is!lighter!than!Maggie,!with!nicer!hair!and!a!fuller!figure.!She's!a!woman!now,!though!sometimes!I!forget.!
How!long!ago!was!it!that!the!other!house!burned?!Ten,!twelve!years?!Sometimes!I!can!still!hear!the!flames!
and!feel!Maggie's!arms!sticking!to!me,!her!hair!smoking!and!her!dress!falling!off!her!in!little!black!papery!
flakes.!Her!eyes!seemed!stretched!open,!blazed!open!by!the!flames!reflected!in!them.!And!Dee.!I!see!her!
standing!off!under!the!sweet!gum!tree!she!used!to!dig!gum!out!of;!a!look!of!concentration!on!her!face!as!she!
watched!the!last!dingy!gray!board!of!the!house!fall!in!toward!the!red.hot!brick!chimney.!Why!don't!you!do!a!
dance!around!the!ashes?!I'd!wanted!to!ask!her.!She!had!hated!the!house!that!much.!
I!used!to!think!she!hated!Maggie,!too.!But!that!was!before!we!raised!money,!the!church!and!me,!to!send!her!to!
Augusta!to!school.!She!used!to!read!to!us!without!pity;!forcing!words,!lies,!other!folks'!habits,!whole!lives!
upon!us!two,!sitting!trapped!and!ignorant!underneath!her!voice.!She!washed!us!in!a!river!of!make.believe,!
burned!us!with!a!lot!of!knowl!edge!we!didn't!necessarily!need!to!know.!Pressed!us!to!her!with!the!serf'!ous!
way!she!read,!to!shove!us!away!at!just!the!moment,!like!dimwits,!we!seemed!about!to!understand.!
Dee!wanted!nice!things.!A!yellow!organdy!dress!to!wear!to!her!grad.uation!from!high!school;!black!pumps!to!
match!a!green!suit!she'd!made!from!an!old!suit!somebody!gave!me.!She!was!determined!to!stare!down!any!
disaster!in!her!efforts.!Her!eyelids!would!not!flicker!for!minutes!at!a!time.!Often!I!fought!off!the!temptation!to!
shake!her.!At!sixteen!she!had!a!style!of!her!own:!and!knew!what!style!was.!
I!never!had!an!education!myself.!After!second!grade!the!school!was!closed!down.!Don't!ask!my!why:!in!1927!
colored!asked!fewer!questions!than!they!do!now.!Sometimes!Maggie!reads!to!me.!She!stumbles!along!
good.naturedly!but!can't!see!well.!She!knows!she!is!not!bright.!Like!good!looks!and!money,!quickness!passes!
her!by.!She!will!marry!John!Thomas!(who!has!mossy!teeth!in!an!earnest!face)!and!then!I'll!be!free!to!sit!here!
and!I!guess!just!sing!church!songs!to!myself.!Although!I!never!was!a!good!singer.!Never!could!carry!a!tune.!I!
was!always!better!at!a!man's!job.!I!used!to!love!to!milk!till!I!was!hooked!in!the!side!in!'49.!Cows!are!soothing!
and!slow!and!don't!bother!you,!unless!you!try!to!milk!them!the!wrong!way.!
I!have!deliberately!turned!my!back!on!the!house.!It!is!three!rooms,!just!like!the!one!that!burned,!except!the!
roof!is!tin;!they!don't!make!shingle!roofs!any!more.!There!are!no!real!windows,!just!some!holes!cut!in!the!
sides,!like!the!portholes!in!a!ship,!but!not!round!and!not!square,!with!rawhide!holding!the!shutters!up!on!the!
outside.!This!house!is!in!a!pasture,!too,!like!the!other!one.!No!doubt!when!Dee!sees!it!she!will!want!to!tear!it!
down.!She!wrote!me!once!that!no!matter!where!we!"choose"!to!live,!she!will!manage!to!come!see!us.!But!she!
will!never!bring!her!friends.!Maggie!and!I!thought!about!this!and!Maggie!asked!me,!"Mama,!when!did!Dee!
ever!have!any!friends?"!
!
She!had!a!few.!Furtive!boys!in!pink!shirts!hanging!about!on!washday!after!school.!Nervous!girls!who!never!
laughed.!Impressed!with!her!they!worshiped!the!well.turned!phrase,!the!cute!shape,!the!scalding!humor!that!
erupted!like!bubbles!in!Iye.!She!read!to!them.!
When!she!was!courting!Jimmy!T!she!didn't!have!much!time!to!pay!to!us,!but!turned!all!her!faultfinding!power!
on!him.!He!flew!to!marry!a!cheap!city!girl!from!a!family!of!ignorant!flashy!people.!She!hardly!had!time!to!
recompose!herself.!
When!she!comes!I!will!meet—but!there!they!are!!
Maggie!attempts!to!make!a!dash!for!the!house,!in!her!shuffling!way,!but!I!stay!her!with!my!hand.!"Come!back!
here,!"!I!say.!And!she!stops!and!tries!to!dig!a!well!in!the!sand!with!her!toe.!
It!is!hard!to!see!them!clearly!through!the!strong!sun.!But!even!the!first!glimpse!of!leg!out!of!the!car!tells!me!it!
is!Dee.!Her!feet!were!always!neat.looking,!as!if!God!himself!had!shaped!them!with!a!certain!style.!From!the!
other!side!of!the!car!comes!a!short,!stocky!man.!Hair!is!all!over!his!head!a!foot!long!and!hanging!from!his!chin!