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mndful communication
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Essay of 31 pages for the course JM-MCMC1-21 at HU (I obtained an 8)
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Mindfulcommunicatio
n1
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Teacher: Marjolein Koopmans Education:
English teacher in education – Full-time
Date: 04 NOV 2023
,Table of contents:
Week 1 ……………………………………………………………………………2
Week 2 ……………………………………………………………………………5
Week 3 ……………………………………………………………………………8
Week 4 ……………………………………………………………………………12
Week 5 ……………………………………………………………………………15
Week 6……………………………………………………………………………19
Week 7 ……………………………………………………………………………24
Practical assignment ………………………………………………………………26
Bibliography ……………………………………………………………………….30
1
,Week 1
Preparatory assignments before session 1:
Assignment 1.1
During this course, I learned more about these terms: presence, attention, and acceptance, and the meaning of
them to me. Presence is me being conscious and present at the moment, the place or with the people, I am with,
without zoning out or thinking about something else in my mind. Being present could also be related to your
presence in the future meaning you should focus on that and give yourself time to dive into your thought with
focus without distracting yourself with something else. Moving on to attention, attention means giving all my focus
and concentration to the tasks I am doing or the people I am with. Acceptance is to accept yourself and feel that
the world is not against you and not judging based on your race, culture, religion, etc. Acceptance is one of the
aspects that I struggled with in my life due to insecurity.
Assignment 1.2
I had the feeling that she was present to some extent. I could tell from the way she looked at others and it gave
me the feeling of wanting to be there and present. Few people seemed to be present, while others appeared to
be anxious. There's one video when an elderly man sits in front of her and she starts crying; it was the most
present experience I had out of everyone who took part. In general, presence in the videos refers to the artist
sitting there choosing to gaze at individuals for that period. Attention, I feel is visible in the artist's bodily
movement, and the fact that she is quiet the whole time provides her with mental calmness and focus. I believe
she was prepared for anything and whoever sat in front of her. She seemed to be willing to contribute her energy
or, at the very least, to share her connection with those there. She seems relaxed and receptive to the
experience.
Assignment 1.3
I was going home by train and I noticed a chubby lady eating unhealthy food. A man was sitting in front of her
and he was staring at the food she was eating and the way she was eating that food. I thought that this is why
the man was staring at her and that is because that is what I was thinking of when I looked at her. I'm not
convinced he was staring at her for that purpose, but there was no other explanation for how he was watching
her. I felt awful for her, but I didn't care since it was her decision, and she might be happy. To be honest I was
very judgmental. The reason for this is that I'm not sure why individuals allow themselves to go that far and that
food isn't going away. I was thinking that people are strange since we all have troubles at some time. I know that
many people get addicted to things consciously like drugs, food, alcohol, etc. This made me start to think about
the things that I might be addicted to. I noticed that I don't have an addiction and that I can quit doing things
anytime I choose. And I was stating that not everyone would be like me, which is why I shouldn't criticize that
woman's decision, that I don't know her past, and that I should get such ideas out of my brain. There might be a
reason, or something happened to her that caused her to eat like that, she might be depressed but I should not
judge without knowing anything about others. Finally, the person continued staring, so I assumed that I had
finally attained enlightenment while he had not.
2
, Assignment 1.4
Life-alienating is a style of communication that diminishes sympathy for others and encourages aggressive
behavior. The first point raised is judgment. According to the author, we are hardwired to assess who is decent
and who is evil based on our ideologies and self-constructs. People that throw leftover food, for example, are
horrible in my opinion since other people in other countries are hungry and would appreciate half of that food. I
freeze food and would never throw it away unless it was expired, therefore I expect people to do the same, which
is where my judgment comes from. The second point that the writer raises is the comparison and the negative
impacts that it brings. I feel we might compare ourselves to everyone else and take/imitate the positive thoughts
from them. However, the writer has a different perspective. He highlighted throughout the chapter how
depressing and unpleasant the impacts of comparing yourself to others in whatever form are. I sometimes
compare myself to others but to stop that I always think of people who have less than what I have to value what I
have. I sometimes look at the ones higher than me and I become jealous at some point. Then, I convince myself
that I am working hard and that I will get what they have one day but in a different form that suits my life. So, I
suppose it is dependent on how satisfied you are with yourself and how you can utilize your ideas to generate a
negative comparison. Finally, denying responsibility. Sometimes we are forced to do things that are favorable to
us which may lead to dissatisfaction and rage at sometimes. As I previously said, it is crucial to consider how we
think about the subject. For example, sometimes my parents convince me to marry at a younger age to have
children early and we sometimes fight about it. I don’t want that right now, I want to finish my studies, work, and
then get married. I believe that I have bridged the gap between all of the aforementioned factors. However, I
remember being more judgmental when I was younger, and my room for understanding people was too limited.
Now, I've seen and experienced things that have opened my eyes to everything I hear and everything others do
in their lives. I usually tell myself that we learn from our experiences, whether they are beneficial or harmful for
us. I also believe that just because something is bad for me doesn't imply that it will be bad for others.
Weekly assignment after session 1:
Weekly assignment 1.1
One characteristic of mine is that I talk more than I listen and know that I need to work on it. We practiced
speaking about ourselves and our experiences with classmates this week. I was with Klara. She went first, and I
was supposed to stay perfectly quiet, which made it impossible not to respond to what she had been saying. I
found it difficult to listen at first since all of my thoughts were focused on my response, but at the last minute of
the activity, I realized that I am listening and absorbing more of what she was saying. I can honestly state that I
should shut up more frequently. I could see she was worried about talking about herself when I didn't respond,
but she carried on. We discussed our experiences while doing this activity, which was amusing and unique. She
found it difficult to speak about herself since she thought it sounded strange and awkward. Furthermore, there
was no reaction from me, which made matters worse. On the contrary, I found it easy to speak about myself
since I was discussing my likes and dislikes, which every person has. I also don't need to think and worry much
since I know who I am and what I stand for. I loved this task since it improved my ability to perceive, watch, and
listen.
3
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